Here I am, in a new place once again. This time, I’m located somewhere far in Texas. Austin. Yes, I’m in Austin. I’ve decided to start my next journey in Austin. Why Austin? A question that I have been asked daily since I’ve moved. I’m more than happy to tell you…
Every time I answer
this question, I answer in various ways.
Do you want to know
the whole truth?
I have no idea, really.
With my graduation
date approaching quicker than I had anticipated, I had to decide the next step.
My goal plan was entirely blank. I had no idea what I wanted to do, except
going to New Zealand.
New Zealand? Yes, but I
know I’m not ready for that trip yet. Timing is not right… just yet.
What am I going to do after I graduate?
Originally, I was supposed to work with Conservation Corps, MN as an assistant
director. I love Conservation Corps, MN dearly, but the thought of being
drowned with their constantly on-the-go schedule was dreadful. If I did not
have the crazy last year at Gallaudet with classes and two part-time jobs that
I was sincere devoted to, the feeling about working in Minnesota will be
different. It’s too bad.
Plus, I was having
thoughts about moving to Austin right after the summer in Minnesota. But then,
I wanted to start my life immediately, to find a steady job and call Austin a
home without Austin being in it. Austin is my beau and he has been living in
Austin for a while now. My inner independent goddess wanted to live the Austin
life without him. My life will not be about him or us. It is about me. You
perhaps would think it’s a lonely life, but it is safer for me. I cannot afford
losing myself again.
I arrived Austin last
Tuesday in the early afternoon with two bags and a backpack with no
expectations. You can imagine the feeling of fear and nervous was quite
overwhelming for me during that week. So overwhelming that I could not bring
myself to eat a solid meal for few days. I left Pennsylvania being upset, and
disappointed with myself. It was not exactly ideal emotional week for me. As
few days pass by, I recovered just a little bit with the wonderful remedy of
jogging every morning. Job searching has been exhausting. I made an appointment
to visit St. Edwards University to check their graduate program out. I like it, but golly, their tuition costs way much more than Gallaudet
University’s four-year tuition total.
Last night, I started
my art project.
It was exactly what I needed.
Then I started to doodled something. I really miss rock-climbing. The thrill of it.
Then, again this
morning I got started on my next tattoo project. It’s starting to look really
good. I’m stoked about it! I’m going to look for a local tattoo artist and get
the estimate for this particular tattoo piece.
I looked into my older posts…
“The reason that I am holding tightly
to God... is He is the only one thing that remains same yesterday, today and
tomorrow. Every single thing in my life has been changed, except for His love.
It's true.”
Not really...I need to work on my
love for myself. I want my love for myself to be unconditional. When you lose everything else,
you only have yourself to hold on to.
