Christmas and the Parable of the Lost Son

wait, lemme change the title:

Christmas and the Parable of the Lost Son Daughter

Ok, this blog is different from what I've wrote previously, but it has a purpose. I'm not going all "religious" on ya'll. I just want to share something that matters the most to me- this belief of mine has a huge impact on my life and created who I am today. I wouldn't call it a religion because I think the term, "religion" over-statemented while it is entirely about me and my relationship with my Father, whom have been there for me and love me unconditionally all throughout my life.  

     Last year, I've had a pretty tough Christmas and vowed that I wouldn't return to home for the next Christmas. I wanted to travel in Europe and experience their holidays as I do some volunteering at some agency or school. Due to finances, I decided it would be best to stay home, plus, I haven't been home much this past year (school, and a summer job in Minnesota). It was extremely nice to be home, to spend some time with my family and my friend. A close friend of mine, Sabra spent Christmas with us as well. We decided to go to a Christmas Eve service at Lancaster County Bible Church in the city of Lancaster (there are three LCBC locations) with my sister, her husband and her brother-in-law. I haven't not gone to a church service for a pretty while, so, I was really looking forward to this service and see how God can work in my heart this time. I have not been a best daughter for God lately, probably not for the past five years or so. Yeah, a long time... Anyways, I've always had a small voice in my heart, calling me to turn to the Lord again over the years.

  This time, during the Christmas Eve service... That voice was VERY loud- like a lion's fierce roar that I could NOT ignore. The sermon was about the parable of the lost son, and I've heard this parable countless times. Here's the parable: 

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

   ¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

   ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

   ²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

   ²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

   ²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

   ²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

   ³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

                                                                      Luke 15:11-32 

 

However, this time it was like I was hearing the parable for the very first time and the hidden message pretty much hit me hard in my heart. 

 "I am the Lost Daughter," my heart kept saying over and over again.

 

I then decided it is time for me to go home.

 

   I've already started my journey to go home. I'm still scared, although, I already know with my entire heart that He will embrace back fully with His biggest loving hug. I don't want to be alone on this journey.

 

a new goal on my list for the trip to Italy: to get close with God all over again and  learn so much more about Jesus as I embark on this new adventure. 

  I have a favor to ask all of you: please pray for me and for my trip. 

   My mom have always believed that prayer does work. I still do strongly believe that it is effective, regardless what others said. I've witnessed it first-hand through my mom and her life.

                      

                                          Oh yes! the best, well....the second best part of my christmas was that I got a beautiful PURPLE stocking with white fuzzy top from my sister. 

                                                               I bet ya'll are jealous! ;)

Now I can relax... wait...what? What do you mean, I can't?

Yes, I'm officially done with my third semester at Gallaudet. Just when I thought I could really relax, I realized that I still have several things on my agenda to do before I leave.

Most summer internship applications are due in January. Fabulous... ugh.

   I'm looking for an internship to do in the field of arts, perhaps with museum. I don't know. I'm trying to keep my options open. I was kinda of hoping to work at a camp/ explore more into the wilderness this summer, but i gotta to do an internship in arts sometime soon, like seriously- before I graduate (like duh :P )

How am I feeling about the trip to Italy at this moment? ...I'm really anxious and very ready to experience something new and exciting!

I'm already starting to count down to the day:  
     
                   45 more days

It'll come by quickly. I just cannot wait.


Oh, shoot! I need to get my visa!!! I knew I shouldn't have left DC too soon!



progress of my current artwork: not so good

                                my skillz of procrastinating does not only apply to school, but everything else too. 

            not everybody has that skillz, you know? I'm such a pro. *oh yea*

"Tell me- do you like my music"

"I can't sing so I paint"

Ezliabeth Hutton Turner.

Art is made to speak to our souls like music, without benefit of subject or narrative.

I'm writing a paper on Georgia O'Keefee at this moment. "Tell me- do you like my music?" she wrote to her friend, Anita Pollitzer during the summer of 1915. I love how Georgia O'Keefee view her art as music. Her artworks has magnificently demonstrated the beautiful rhythms of life and breath. She decided that she needs to establish her own artistic style, so in the year of 1915, she decided to "throw away" all of her trainings and express herself directly with forms that would please her first.

That woman. She's an inspirational to me, from artist to artist. I need to find my own artistic style that where people can see my works and recognize it as ByBy's artworks, not as others. An artistic style that will please me first.

Dark Iris, No. 2
Georgia O'Keefee

1927

i totally rocked their socks off

i almost can see the light at the end of the tunnel...


       ... i am...
                                almost there!

only two more final papers, 2 more presentations and one final to go!

today was definitely a good day. i had to give two presentations this morning. one... i was totally unprepared for, but, i improvised! it went much better than i expected. (shall never let that happen again. always always be prepared for the presentation!)

Last night, i was looking through Sabra's pictures from her trip to Italy this past summer. i cannot wait to see all beautiful Italian Cathedrals, Pisa, Sistine Chapel, and many more that i cannot name it all.


Siena has been called "the manageable Florence." Hmm... less tourism, less traffic, and ... less souvenir stands.    i think i'm gonna like siena.... a lot :)

it's official.

so, after a lousy day with a horrible presentation and the lack of sleep... a letter really lifted my spirit. that letter was a confirmation of my enrollment into siena school along with the address where i will be staying at. :) after getting the letter, i couldn't resist hogging the computer in resident advisor's office away from joe gallagher during his shift and browsed through the satellite map of siena to see where i'll be staying, my school, and the center with tons of shoppes and restaurants.

 after taking a superficial glimpse of the city that will be my home for the next semester- i became even more nervous and somehow nausea at the idea of starting a chapter in a new place... once again. i should be used to the routine of moving around a lot, but, i want to settle down for a while though. trying to find my way around in the city is something i look forward to and hope to find many small unnoticeable shoppes, unusual locations and quiet place with beautiful nature to me to appreciate.

i was tossing and turning in my bed all the night long last night with so many thoughts processing in my mind. i keep thinking about how much i have to do yet with so little time during the winter break. and brainstorming so many new ideas for my artworks. a month and half off from school seems to be long, but it became short quickly as i start to plan the visitations to see some friends before i go. i was almost tempted to visit the beautiful state of minnesota and experience its horrifying and yet beautiful winter there (i've heard its like a magical winter wonderland), but it wouldn't be financially wise.

            ....someday, minnesota, i'll be back.


next thing on my agenda for this trip: is to get a visa for my trip. i will do that next week, as soon as i'm done with all of my presentations, papers and finals.

    hooray for the final weeks. blah.



am i really ready to let things go and allow myself to soar higher and higher?


                      ...i think i am. :)

just something cool.

Cinque porpora gatti

alright, it is definitely not like me to write blogs. heck, i'm going to italy in january. and i want to keep a journal for this adventure of mine. for me to enjoy reading in ten years and for others to follow me through my journey in italy.

no, its not like i'll be backpacking through europe. i will be living in siena, italy. (yes i had to make the word bigger just to rub in your face)

 you bet i am going to visit rome, naples, venice, sicily (hopefully), milano, florence, and other countries whenever i can- on weekends, and breaks throughout the semester.

the best part is that my good friend, brittany comenga will be spending few months in europe- i'm looking forward to travel with her.

dominican republic  (done!)
italy: soon!

what will i be doing there for almost four and half months? i'm goin to intensively study fine arts! i'm going to take drawing and painting  classes, andddd *drum rolls* art restoration class. i think i'm most excited about this class. as the website noted: the prerequisites for this class is a passion for art. hell, i've got it! ;) my portfolio is gonna look fabulous once i return to america from italy with all of my awesome artworks. i didnt meant to be egotistic about it. i've always struggled to keep up with doing arts often as i can, mainly due to the workloads that i'm required to do for school, and plus i have a part-time job as a resident advisor. it's not a big job, or anything, but it does take my time and drains out my energy for producing more artworks. i want to fall in love with arts all over again. i want to eat, sleep and breathe art.


this upcoming semester will be a great start. for this ultimate goal of mine. to be a true artist.

wait a minute....what is a true artist?


i shall find out someday, once i'm fully immerged into the art world, then i will determine if some of us have the right to call ourselves and others... true artists.

okay, back to the point... i will be flying on january 25th to rome, then hopefully meet up with a friend to show me around in rome for next two days before off to siena. the first three weeks i will study the language, italian and the culture, along with learning LIS (Lingua dei Segni Italiana).

and my interpreter will be *drum rolls* austin andrews! check for "deaf ninja" on youtube... ah, i've made things easier for you, my beloved readers: just click on the link below and ta-ta!

 Deaf Ninja


yeaahhhh- that's him!!! i'm just thrilled to know that i will have an awesome qualified interpreter on my side throughout the semester. its not like i will rely on him all the way, but yeah, i would need an interpreter to pass my classes :P i've had my shares of enduring some horrible interpreters in the past, and do not want to experience that with my classes in italy. no way, jose!


for some reasons, i feel so unprepared for this trip. i already bought the flight ticket. already worked things out for the classes credits to be transferred to gally in the spring once i return. already got a place to live. but... i'm not even packed! gah! i dont even know what to pack though :( i think i should get a new jacket, a pair of boots... and a pair of good walking shoes.

hmm... i will pack my favorite paintbrush, sketchbook, and my favorite undies. well... maybe that's all i need for my adventure to italy.

*nods*

that will do.

I dare you to try to walk in this curly-haired girl’s shoes

yes, i dare you to walk in my beloved purple converses shoes and see what is it like to be me for just a day. oh, wait a minute. No, I would prefer you to use my other pair of shoes, after all, that purple converses shoes is my baby. Ridiculous, i know. But, baby, that's me. :D

I reckon that everybody might feel that way- frustrating and wishing that others would at least try to understand them a lil bit- maybe tipping toe into their shoes just for a few minutes. We are humans, aren't we. We long to be understood and loved for who we are. We are aimlessly trying so hard to fight against the society's standards as we subconsciously following their laws, by doing exactly what they want us to. Wearing their fashions, saying what they want us to, being entertained by their mass media, purchasing their worthless but expensive products, and as we do this, we are losing our identity.

But.. the question is.. what is identity, exactly?

is it even necessary?


yes, i believe so. it gives every one the feeling of assurance that we are living. we have a meaning in our life. without any identity, for example i as an artist, as a woman, as a deaf person, as a daughter, as a friend, as a student, as an employee and as Bethany. It somehow gives me the sense of purpose to wake up in the morning to. It is already hard enough to wake up, to get out of the warm comfortable bed of mine. I have a duty to feed my brain (cheesey i know), i have to meet some of residents' need of feeling safe in the building as a RA, i want to be there for my friends whom have been there for me in the past, I want to get up and get ready for the day to show the world that Bethany Lynn Gehman does exist. I don't shout to the world, running around to get the attentions, but, I want them to know that i am here. I do matter.


In all, i believe that everybody do have that desire to be acknowledged by others. That is why we get up in the morning and face the world every single day.

the sunshine in the morning are gorgeous, but it is nothing without humans noticing it and appreciate the pure beauty of it in the morning.