it's official.

so, after a lousy day with a horrible presentation and the lack of sleep... a letter really lifted my spirit. that letter was a confirmation of my enrollment into siena school along with the address where i will be staying at. :) after getting the letter, i couldn't resist hogging the computer in resident advisor's office away from joe gallagher during his shift and browsed through the satellite map of siena to see where i'll be staying, my school, and the center with tons of shoppes and restaurants.

 after taking a superficial glimpse of the city that will be my home for the next semester- i became even more nervous and somehow nausea at the idea of starting a chapter in a new place... once again. i should be used to the routine of moving around a lot, but, i want to settle down for a while though. trying to find my way around in the city is something i look forward to and hope to find many small unnoticeable shoppes, unusual locations and quiet place with beautiful nature to me to appreciate.

i was tossing and turning in my bed all the night long last night with so many thoughts processing in my mind. i keep thinking about how much i have to do yet with so little time during the winter break. and brainstorming so many new ideas for my artworks. a month and half off from school seems to be long, but it became short quickly as i start to plan the visitations to see some friends before i go. i was almost tempted to visit the beautiful state of minnesota and experience its horrifying and yet beautiful winter there (i've heard its like a magical winter wonderland), but it wouldn't be financially wise.

            ....someday, minnesota, i'll be back.


next thing on my agenda for this trip: is to get a visa for my trip. i will do that next week, as soon as i'm done with all of my presentations, papers and finals.

    hooray for the final weeks. blah.



am i really ready to let things go and allow myself to soar higher and higher?


                      ...i think i am. :)

just something cool.

Cinque porpora gatti

alright, it is definitely not like me to write blogs. heck, i'm going to italy in january. and i want to keep a journal for this adventure of mine. for me to enjoy reading in ten years and for others to follow me through my journey in italy.

no, its not like i'll be backpacking through europe. i will be living in siena, italy. (yes i had to make the word bigger just to rub in your face)

 you bet i am going to visit rome, naples, venice, sicily (hopefully), milano, florence, and other countries whenever i can- on weekends, and breaks throughout the semester.

the best part is that my good friend, brittany comenga will be spending few months in europe- i'm looking forward to travel with her.

dominican republic  (done!)
italy: soon!

what will i be doing there for almost four and half months? i'm goin to intensively study fine arts! i'm going to take drawing and painting  classes, andddd *drum rolls* art restoration class. i think i'm most excited about this class. as the website noted: the prerequisites for this class is a passion for art. hell, i've got it! ;) my portfolio is gonna look fabulous once i return to america from italy with all of my awesome artworks. i didnt meant to be egotistic about it. i've always struggled to keep up with doing arts often as i can, mainly due to the workloads that i'm required to do for school, and plus i have a part-time job as a resident advisor. it's not a big job, or anything, but it does take my time and drains out my energy for producing more artworks. i want to fall in love with arts all over again. i want to eat, sleep and breathe art.


this upcoming semester will be a great start. for this ultimate goal of mine. to be a true artist.

wait a minute....what is a true artist?


i shall find out someday, once i'm fully immerged into the art world, then i will determine if some of us have the right to call ourselves and others... true artists.

okay, back to the point... i will be flying on january 25th to rome, then hopefully meet up with a friend to show me around in rome for next two days before off to siena. the first three weeks i will study the language, italian and the culture, along with learning LIS (Lingua dei Segni Italiana).

and my interpreter will be *drum rolls* austin andrews! check for "deaf ninja" on youtube... ah, i've made things easier for you, my beloved readers: just click on the link below and ta-ta!

 Deaf Ninja


yeaahhhh- that's him!!! i'm just thrilled to know that i will have an awesome qualified interpreter on my side throughout the semester. its not like i will rely on him all the way, but yeah, i would need an interpreter to pass my classes :P i've had my shares of enduring some horrible interpreters in the past, and do not want to experience that with my classes in italy. no way, jose!


for some reasons, i feel so unprepared for this trip. i already bought the flight ticket. already worked things out for the classes credits to be transferred to gally in the spring once i return. already got a place to live. but... i'm not even packed! gah! i dont even know what to pack though :( i think i should get a new jacket, a pair of boots... and a pair of good walking shoes.

hmm... i will pack my favorite paintbrush, sketchbook, and my favorite undies. well... maybe that's all i need for my adventure to italy.

*nods*

that will do.

I dare you to try to walk in this curly-haired girl’s shoes

yes, i dare you to walk in my beloved purple converses shoes and see what is it like to be me for just a day. oh, wait a minute. No, I would prefer you to use my other pair of shoes, after all, that purple converses shoes is my baby. Ridiculous, i know. But, baby, that's me. :D

I reckon that everybody might feel that way- frustrating and wishing that others would at least try to understand them a lil bit- maybe tipping toe into their shoes just for a few minutes. We are humans, aren't we. We long to be understood and loved for who we are. We are aimlessly trying so hard to fight against the society's standards as we subconsciously following their laws, by doing exactly what they want us to. Wearing their fashions, saying what they want us to, being entertained by their mass media, purchasing their worthless but expensive products, and as we do this, we are losing our identity.

But.. the question is.. what is identity, exactly?

is it even necessary?


yes, i believe so. it gives every one the feeling of assurance that we are living. we have a meaning in our life. without any identity, for example i as an artist, as a woman, as a deaf person, as a daughter, as a friend, as a student, as an employee and as Bethany. It somehow gives me the sense of purpose to wake up in the morning to. It is already hard enough to wake up, to get out of the warm comfortable bed of mine. I have a duty to feed my brain (cheesey i know), i have to meet some of residents' need of feeling safe in the building as a RA, i want to be there for my friends whom have been there for me in the past, I want to get up and get ready for the day to show the world that Bethany Lynn Gehman does exist. I don't shout to the world, running around to get the attentions, but, I want them to know that i am here. I do matter.


In all, i believe that everybody do have that desire to be acknowledged by others. That is why we get up in the morning and face the world every single day.

the sunshine in the morning are gorgeous, but it is nothing without humans noticing it and appreciate the pure beauty of it in the morning.